A Christmas Tale

Every year before Christmas I scrummage around in the cupboards looking for our Bing Crosby 'Do You Know It's Christmas' cassette tape.  It's usually buried under a pile of redundant cassette tapes and other examples of old and even more redundant audio thing-a-majigs.  

I also scrummage around in the cupboards looking for our Bing Crosby cassette tape before writing a blog post which mentions said cassette tape, so that I can make sure I have the title right.  After wasting five minutes and coating all my fingers in dust, I have a feeling my family is constantly hiding Bing Crosby from me (but that might just be a vicious rumour).

I love Bing Crosby cassette tapes!  

The first track (is it called a track on a cassette tape?) is my very most favourite Bing song:
White Christmas.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the tree tops glisten,
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow....


When you grow up in Australia, it doesn't take too long to realise that this song was not written about Australian Christmases.  If it was, Bing would sing it like this:

I'm sweating during a hot Christmas,
Just like I sweat every year
The melting tree tops are shimmering
The pool full of children is glimmering
And we all set fire to the barbecueeeeeeeee 

Sorry, I couldn't resist (most Australian versions of Christmas carols are lame anyway, so I fit right in).

At about 4:00pm on Christmas Day 2011 we were slumped sitting around the pool trying to digest the large amounts of food which had been consumed for lunch (hard work).
There was a little light bantering about who was going to go for a swim, who was going to get pushed into the pool, etc.  No one actually moved.

At that point the sun also went behind a very large black mass of clouds, and the hot air suddenly felt even hotter and more stifling.

Gingerbread

I was a little bit obsessive about Christmas this year (I can say that now, looking back).

Obsessiveness meant I actually decided to do something Christmassy, as opposed to just waiting for the presents to appear under the tree, and the Christmas lunch to appear on the table (magically).

So for the first time ever, I decided to make some gingerbread.  Gingerbread = Christmas.

I found a few recipes which looked complicated, and then changed them all around.  I do that with recipes.  (It's fine.)

I ended up with "alternative" gingerbread, made with "alternative" syrup, and "alternative" flour and "alternative" sugar.

Gingerbread generally use golden syrup but I only had Molasses.

Molasses takes me back to my horsecrazy days.  When I smell it I immediately see the old school barn, the feed troughs, and the giant tub of molasses.  When we fed the horses after school, we would slip some molasses into the chaff to make it more edible (you know, if it's possible to make chopped up grass edible).

When I say 'slip some molasses in' I mean 'use seven different implements to get the syrup from the tub to the feed bucket while making a giant mess'.  This stuff is lethally sticky.  In fact, molasses is the embodiment of the word sticky.

Christmas 2011

In the Mouse House...

Christmas is dawning

{oh yeah}

It's all happening under the tree...

The Reason

A little story about a religious skeptic who worked as a farmer [by Paul Harvey], which I would like to call 'The Reason'.

One raw winter night the farmer heard an irregular thumping sound against the kitchen storm door.  He went to a window and watched as tiny, shivering sparrows, attracted to the evident warmth inside, beat in vain against the glass.

Touched, the farmer bundled up and trudged through fresh snow to open the barn door for the struggling birds.  He turned on the lights and tossed some hay in a corner.  But the sparrows, which had scattered in all directions when he emerged from the house, hid in the darkness, afraid.

The man tried various tactics to get them into the barn.  He laid down a trail of Saltine cracker crumbs to direct them.  He tried circling behind the birds to drive them toward the barn.  Nothing worked.  He, a huge, alien creature, had terrified them; the birds couldn't comprehend that he actually desired to help them.

The farmer withdrew to his house and watched the doomed sparrows through a window.  As he stared, a thought hit:  If only I could become a bird - one of them - just for a moment.  Then I wouldn't frighten them so.  I could show them the way to warmth and safety.

At the same moment, another thought dawned on him.  He had grasped the reason Jesus was born.

From the The Nativity Story

Oh Holy Night

Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure

1847

Oh Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Till he appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! Oh hear the angel voices!

Oh night divine, the night when Christ was born.

~

Truly He taught us to love one another,

His law is love, and His Gospel is peace.

Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.

And in his name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

With all our hearts we praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,

His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Adoration of the Shepherds, Gerard van Honthorst, 1622

As a side note, it's interesting how all the old paintings of the nativity scene, etc. show the Jewish Mary and Joseph as Anglo white people.  Not very politically correct *cough*.

I'm sure you'll understand that by displaying these pictures I am in no way promoting this sort of exclusive idea.  Hence, I included the previous picture from the movie The Nativity Story, which I think is much more realistic. 

Confessions: I think I'm a grinch

I thought I should write something about Christmas here on my blog.  I mean it's only a four days away, and millions of people are already celebrating the Christmas 'season'.  The decorations are up in the streets, carols are playing through the stores, cards fill the letterbox, and presents are being wrapped.


To be honest, though, I couldn't really be bothered.  There, I've said it.  What a grinch.

Adoration of the Shepherds by Charles Le Brun

As a Christian, I first recognise the story behind Christmas.  But after almost 20 years of Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, and the Three Wise Men, the story has become so familiar... almost clichéd.  How sad.

But don't worry!  When a person [like me] realises that something has become clichéd, they're on the way to re-discovering it's power and originality!  (Seriously.  I mean, it's the first step, right?)

So please bear with me as a re-discover what made the Christmas story a world-wide 'best-seller'.



While we're on that subjects, here's something which I found in my inbox this morning - a new Christmas song.

While at the mall a couple of years ago, my then four year old nephew, Spencer, saw kids lined up to see Santa Claus. Having been taught as a toddler that Christmas is the holiday that Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, he asked his mom, "where's the line to see Jesus"? My sister mentioned this to my dad, who immediately became inspired and jotted words down to a song in just a few minutes.

It's just amazing - listen to it here.  There is a gorgeous music video too which already has over 1.5 million views on YouTube!

Anno Domini Edwin Long 1883